


Quiet at the End of December

by Tieflingfemme



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Nightmares, discussions of trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:28:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28305339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tieflingfemme/pseuds/Tieflingfemme
Summary: Neither Byleth nor Edelgard celebrate Christmas, each for their own reasons. But they still make use of the time off, even if only to shelter from the world, and their own ghosts. No matter the cold, they find warmth in one another
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 2
Kudos: 49





	Quiet at the End of December

_24th of December, 9th of Tevet_

The first thing Edelgard felt as she awoke was the cold. The frigid air seeping between the sheets, the cold sweat sticking to her, and the icy anxiety crawling up and down her spine. She propped herself up from the bed and glanced to her side. Where she expected to find Byleth there was only an indent in the mattress. She pressed a hand to it, and was dismayed to find it bereft of warmth. She’d been up for some time then. 

After snatching her phone from the nightstand she sat up, blinking away the bleariness in her eyes as she looked at the screen. Even then it was hard to focus on. Her hands were shaking. 

_11:14._ She’d slept in quite a while. Much longer than she usually did. 

_No need to worry. I’m not working today. Byleth isn’t working either. No big plans. Just us._

She stretched and sighed. Her uneasiness still lingered, but she could recall no afterimages from any dream or nightmare, just the impression of fear. She could guess at what they might be, though, it was that time of year after all. The time of year where the world around her reared up and insisted upon itself at every turn, and all she wanted to do was shy away from it. 

Thankfully Byleth agreed. Edelgard was raised strictly Catholic, so opting out of christmas had seemed so much more bizarre to her when she first started doing it. Byleth, being Jewish, never worried about that. While her parents weren’t the most observant out there, they made a point not to give in to the spectre that haunted December, even if that meant propping up Channukah a little. All in all it made the end of the year quiet for them, with only echoes and ghosts in these last few days. 

Edelgard shook her head to clear and got up from the bed. Then she slipped into a pair of sweatpants, hoping they’d ward away a little more of the cold than the oversized shirt she’d slept in. She walked to the door and was about to step out when she paused, listening. The door was slightly ajar, and through it, she could hear a very familiar voice humming, along with the clinks and clatters of cooking. 

Opening the door revealed her partner swaying slightly, humming a tune to herself. She didn’t see her enter yet, with her focus on the bowl of eggs she was whisking in front of her. She was wearing her hair in a messy low bun, and had on a baggy gray sweatshirt that Edelgard recognized with a frown as the “bad day” shirt. One she put on when her dysphoria acted up and she wanted to look formless. It also happened to be extremely cozy.

Following an impulse she so often had in their mornings together, Edelgard quietly shuffled up behind Byleth, wrapped her arms around her midriff, and buried her face in her partner’s shoulder. She felt the little rumble as Byleth chuckled. 

“Good morning, silly.” She said. Her voice soothed her more than the steam rising off a fresh cup of tea could. It chased away the last dregs of her earlier nervousness, at least for now. 

“Morning.” She replied, half muffled by Byleth’s sweatshirt. She squeezed her quick, before asking “Everything okay?” 

Byleth sighed. “Yeah. Well… no. But I’ll be alright in a bit.” 

Edelgard hummed in response. Then her hand drifted a little lower, under the hem of the shirt. Her hands were still chilly enough to make Byleth’s breath hitch for a second, and then again as Edelgard traced the lines of her abs. She was so _warm,_ so _there._

She edged her hand up higher, until it met a tight bit of fabric that confirmed her suspicion. She tapped the binder, “How long?” 

She felt Byleth shrug. “Not too long, about an hour. I won’t leave it on all day I promise.” 

“Alright.” Was all Edelgard replied with. She leaned up and planted a light kiss at the base of Byleth’s neck, and grinned at the gentle shiver that drew out of her. Otherwise Byleth kept her attention on making breakfast, transferring the eggs to a pan and sprinkling in something from one of the bowls of her mise en plas. Omelettes then. Edelgard almost salivated just at the thought of the finished product. Byleth always made them stuffed to the brim with veggies so they could pretend it was healthy. It did nothing from making them feel indulgent, especially the way she made them. 

She was stirred from her reverie by a sudden presence on her feet, followed by a very demanding set of meows. She released Byleth and peered down at their cat, a sentient black cloud named Sothis. “Hello there, little bastard!” 

Sothis gave a _mrrp_ response, one Edelgard chose to interpret as proud confirmation of her status as "stinky old bastard lady of the house." 

“Don’t fall for her shit, by the way. I already fed her” Byleth said. 

“No worries.” Edelgard said, as she leaned down and scooped up the cat, giving her a gentle scratch under her chin. “I know her lies and crimes.” 

That earned her another little chirp, that she decided was more indignant this time. Sothis squirmed a little until she secured her place, paws on Edelgards shoulder. She leaned the cat over to Byleth, who turned around just long enough to give Sothis a peck on her forehead. 

“Of course our spoiled child gets kisses before I do.” She said in faux offense. 

Then Byleth turned to her again. Her dark blue eyes lit up, and a mischievous smirk played across her lips. 

“Edelgard?” She practically purred, her voice now low, playful. 

She could feel her cheeks heat up, and she dropped her eyes to avoid that gaze. “Yes?”

“You know, if I start kissing you now, we’ll have charcoal for breakfast instead of omelettes.” 

Edelgard was properly blushing now, but she pushed the bashful smile threatening to ruin her composure back down. _Two can play at that game._

She returned to Byleth’s side and laid a hand on her bicep, letting her fingers curl ever so slightly around it. Then she leaned up, as far as she could reach, and close enough so that when she spoke, her breath would just hit Byleth’s neck. 

“Later then?” She asked. 

“Yeah,” Byleth replied, her voice a touch higher than before, satisfyingly off kilter. “Later.” 

Edelgard allowed herself a wicked grin, and patted Byelth’s arm before returning her attention to Sothis, who had begun to rub up against her leg.

It was only a few minutes later that Byleth slid the contents of the pan onto a plate that she promptly set on the table in front of the seat nearest Edelgard. Immediately the smell wafted up to her, and her every instinct was to dive right in, with her fingers if she had to. Instead she held off, sat down and watched Byleth see to her own breakfast. 

She always liked to see her work with her hands. On just about anything. There was a grace to her every movement, a constant motion, like her hands themselves were dancing through whatever task they set themselves to. Whenever they weren’t directly involved they’d tap away at the counter, or frankly whatever was in reach. 

She was just too damn _cute._ Her bun was messy, with strands of hair sticking out in all directions. Every now and again she’d bite her lip as she tried to focus on something in particular. It made Edelgard want to jump up and take her lips between her teeth herself… 

That last thought was tucked away. _For later._

Byleth plated her breakfast and took a seat across from her, frowning when she saw Edelgard’s plate untouched. 

“Did I mess it up?” She asked. 

“No, of course not,” Edelgard said, as she picked up her utensils and began cutting into her food. “Just wanted to wait for you.” 

“Always a lady.” Byleth said with a smirk. 

Edelgard rolled her eyes, but it was a halfhearted gesture. She savoured these moments so much more than anything Byleth could put in front of her. All she could hope was that Byleth knew how cherished she was. 

***

What was left of the morning ebbed into the afternoon with the same slow peace. There were no responsibilities for them that day, nothing to keep them from blissfully letting each minute pass, content with each other's company. 

So they found themselves in a common position. Byleth sat on their couch, while Edelgard sat on the floor, comfortable against her legs. They had something mindless on TV, but Byleth was far more attentive to Edelgard’s hair, and the latter likewise enthralled by her touch. She was so gentle with it, running her hands along each strand like it was the finest silk the world had to offer. 

Her ministrations pulled a sigh from her. She leaned back until her head was practically in Byleth’s lap, and looked up at her. She smiled wide down at her. Or wide by her standards anyway, but the subtlety of it was more than made up for by the near overwhelming warmth of her dark blue eyes. _God_ Edelgard could look into them forever. As sappy as it was, she really could lose herself there. 

The thought brought an unbidden giggle out of her, one that spread to Byleth soon after. 

“What’s so funny?” She asked. 

“Nothing. Everything.” Edelgard shook her head. “I’m happy, I suppose.” 

Byleth hummed at that, drawing a finger across her cheek before leaning down and kissing her forehead. “I’m glad.” 

Whatever emotion her sudden laughter came from bloomed warm in her chest. She got up from the floor and straddled Byleth’s lap, placing a hand on each of her shoulders. 

“Hey there.” Byleth said, choked with surprise at her partner’s gesture. She blushed scarlet, even after all this time she could be so bashful.

“Is this okay?” Edelgard asked. She had no room to talk of course. She felt her own cheeks grow hot as her heart kept beating faster. 

Byleth gave an enthusiastic nod and, as if that answer would be insufficient, set a hand on Edelgard’s cheek and pulled her in. Her lips were a little chapped from the winter air, but still soft enough to make Edelgard melt into her. Her hands moved from her shoulder to her wrapped around her neck, while Byleth placed her other hand firmly on Edelgard’s hip.

For a spell, each kiss flowed into the next, like calm waves, again and again. Neither could say when, or who started it, but eventually they become more and more desperate. Their hands grew frantic, grasping at each other. Edelgard’s hands ran through Byleth’s hair, while Byleth’s started to play at the hem of her shirt. 

They separated just for a second, dilated eyes looking into one another for confirmation. Edelgard tried to put as much of a _yes_ as she can in that look, and Byleth seemed to receive it. She lifted Edelgard up, hands underneath her thighs, and flipped her to lie flat on her back. For a moment she kneeled over her, hands resting on Edelgard’s hips, a raw expression of _want_ painted on her face, blazing in her dark eyes. 

“You’re so beautiful.” She breathed out. Her voice was ardent, dripping with warmth bordering on open fire. Edelgard could only blush crimson and bask in it.

She reaches a hand up, seized Byleth’s collar, and tugged her down on top of herself. Byleth happily obliged, meeting Edelgard’s lips with her own as she laid above her. Her kisses grew needier, and eventually moved lower. She kissed her jaw, then her neck, lavishing each with attention, giving more and more sparks to the embers glowing deep within her. 

Her hands ran up Byleth’s back, up to her shoulders, pulling her closer. She wanted all of her, needed her. She took her lip between her teeth and pulled, drawing a low groan out of her partner. She was everywhere, everything in the world, the only thing that mattered. 

“Byleth,” She panted, it was all she could manage. Words were so much less than actions, and all she could do was keen, “ _please._ ”

***

It felt like hours later that they finally collapsed against one another onto their shared bed. Their breaths fell ragged out of them, almost in sync. Edelgard, on top of Byleth now, laid her head right over her partner’s heart. It still hammered in her chest, much like her own, only just starting to ease back to normalcy. Byleth, in turn, rested a hand on the back of Edelgards neck, twisting her fingers into her hair. 

They stayed like that for a while, almost still, letting the afterglow burn out steady. It wasn’t until winter’s chill got to them that they even bothered to move, and even then only to throw on just enough to keep it at bay. They returned to each other's sides mismatched, Edelgard wearing one of Byleth’s shirts, long sleeved and baggy over her frame. Byleth herself only wore sweatpants and a sports bra, one that could almost act as a binder in it’s own right, but with a little less stress to her ribs. 

She flopped back onto the bed first, and held her arms out to Edelgard with a big dumb grin on her face, along with a whispered, “Come here, El.” 

She rolled her eyes, but happily went along, lying with her back to Byleth, comfortably tucked under her chin. In turn, Byleth wrapped her arms around her waist and buried her face in her hair, planting a kiss there before settling with a contented hum. Edelgard pulled the blankets up to their hips, mostly to cover her own bare legs, and shifted backward, until all of her pressed up against her partner. 

Byleth ran hot, she ran cold. Perfect thermodynamic equilibrium, or whatever. It made an excellent excuse to cuddle. One Edelgard _may_ have taken advantage of when they were first flirting. Not that she really needed to, Byleth always had a chivalrous streak a mile wide. More than once Edelgard would have made an offhand comment about the weather being a bit too bitter, or even just shivered a little, and without a word she’d find a flannel, a coat, a leather jacket, whatever Byleth had had on being draped around her shoulders. 

A part of her might have found it a little patronizing, and at first she was worried that Byleth saw her as something small to protect, a pitiable thing. The genuine expression she always wore when Edelgard was wrapped up, warm, in one of her jackets chased that away, though. Even if it did mean that Edelgard eventually kept some comments to herself so that Byleth wouldn’t have to go home cold. 

She smiled at the memory. Byleth always went out of her way for things like that, insisted on it. Always cared for her, even when she had no idea how to process being cared for. It had made it almost painful, the surprise with which Byleth had responded to her confession, like that affection was only something she could give, never receive. It made Edelgard want to spend every day assuring her she was worthy of it, and all the world along with it. 

She took one of the hands from her waist and held it, giving it a small squeeze. Anything to convey some of the sentiment buzzing around her brain. How strange to think that all of that was scarcely a year ago, between meeting and tumbling headfirst to the present. 

“What are you thinking about?” Byleth asked, slightly muffled. 

Edelgard rolled over to face her, and almost had to look away. Her tousled, still kiss-bruised lips, and those damn eyes boring right into her. It was like looking into the sun, or the blinding white from a full blanket of snow. 

“Just us,” She said. 

The corner of Byleth’s lip twitched upward. “Good things.” 

Edelgard leaned forward and gave her a chaste peck, “Always.” 

They simply stared at one another for a moment. Byleth tucked a stray hair behind Edelgard’s ear, and Edelgard moved that hand to cup her cheek, placing her own over it. She moved her other hand to trace up and down Byleth’s abs. Byleth chuckled a little at that, her partner’s fixation well known to her by now. As before, Edelgard trailed that hand up, dragging her fingers along the way, and again tapped at Byleth’s sternum. 

“Feeling any better?” 

She thought for a moment, and then nodded. “I think so. You?” 

“I’m not-” Edelgard began to protest, before Byleth cut her off. 

“El.” She said, her voice gentle, but firm. “How are you feeling right now?” 

Edelgard sighed. “Right now, I suppose I’m fine. Ask me after I call my brother.”

It was a promise she intended to keep. Having extricated herself from her family so thoroughly, she thought she owed it to the one member of it she had any affection left for. While she’d gone far in the other direction of any of her remaining relatives, Dimitri still held out hope for their mother. Their uncle was beyond any saving if all the gods in the heavens pardoned him themselves, but their mother had always seemed swept up in the chaos of their family. She wasn’t quite as absent as Edelgard’s own father, nor was she the domineering force that was Dimitri’s. It’d be hard to believe she was related to a vile stain on the world like Arundel at all if not for their shared pitch hair and frigid beady eyes. 

Edelgard shuddered at the thought, prompting Byleth to pull her closer. 

“Hey, it’ll be alright. I’ve got you. And Dimitri will be happy to hear from you, I’m sure.” She said. 

“Yeah,” She nodded, “He will. And it’ll be nice to hear from him.”

Edelgard put her head in the crook of Byleth’s neck, breathing deep in and out, trying to keep her restless unease at bay. It partly worked, especially when Byleth started running a hand through her hair again. She matched her breath to her rhythm. 

Most days were so chaotic for them, so unlike the moment they inhabited right then. Edelgard was always slaving away at her art tablet to some clients' command, while Byleth was either off teaching or sifting through an avalanche of historical records. More than once she’d bring home some frayed parchment that looked hundreds of years old, and simply placed it on her desk while she worked. Edelgard repeatedly saw nightmare scenario’s play in her head of coffee being spilled on a precious document in the middle of Byleth’s attempts to translate it.

It was a relief to be away from it all, particularly since getting away no longer meant packing her most nondescript belongings, wearing her most modest clothes, and pretending she was the perfect child for a week or two. 10 days, at minimum, of sitting in a room being interrogated by soft words hiding barbs, like razors baked into sweets, waiting to lacerate their target as they digested. No more bearing thinly veiled insults and soft spoken demands from Arundel. No more insisting that yes, she definitely wasn’t gay, and no there was no need to go prying into her business again or god forbid sending her somewhere to-

“Hey,” Her voice brought Edelgard back to the present. “You drifted off again.” 

“Sorry.” Edelgard said. She sat up against the headboard and pulled her knees up to her chest. 

“No need to apologize.” Byleth said. “What’s up?”

Edelgard bit her lip and closed her eyes. It was so fucking frustrating, how this creeped up even at her calmest. 

“Family issues, and the like.” She said, and then, much lower, in a venomous voice saved for that topic alone. “And _him._ ”

Byleth frowned and moved up next to her girlfriend, laying a hand on hers. “Do you wanna talk about it, or get your mind off it?” 

“Get my mind off of it, I suppose.” 

“Alright,” Byleth maneuvered herself to Edelgard's side, and offered her shoulder. She eagerly took it, and leaned into the touch as Byleth’s arm slid around her shoulder and tucked her closer. 

“Wanna mess with the cat, watch something stupid, or should I get my guitar?” She asked. 

Edelgard pulled back and looked up at her, a weak smile on her face. “You know I’d love to hear you play, if that’s alright with you.”

“Of course,” Byleth said with a grin. She then extricated herself from Edelgard and retrieved her acoustic guitar from it’s stand in the corner. It was a black Fender, well used and chipped at the edges but equally well loved. She sat back down on the bed and gave it a few experimental strums, wincing at the sour notes. 

“Sorry, she doesn’t like the cold.” 

“Byleth,” Edelgard said, “I truly do not think your guitar, dear as it is to you, cares about the weather.” 

“Of course she does!” Byleth gave her a look of exaggerated indignance. “Really! It’s something about the wood tightening reacting to the temperature. I don’t know, physics.” 

She fiddled with the knobs at the head for a moment, sometimes plucking a singular problematic string a few times before she was satisfied. Then came slower strums, familiar chords. 

It always shocked Edelgard just how much sound could come out of that hunk of would, how it could coax all the air in a room to sway with it, to let it occupy every inch of the space. Byleth didn’t sing, but she didn’t need to. Her fingers danced up and down the fretboard and across the strings, drawing out a song that settled on Edelgard’s skin like sugar melting on her tongue.

Her anxiety hadn’t exactly been vanquished by the time the last chord rang out. Nonetheless, between Byleth’s grin and Sothis’s meows as she headbutted her way into the room, what she had would be enough to keep her warm for now. 

***

No matter what she did to prepare, or what Byleth did to help, it still felt entirely too soon when Edelgard’s phone rang. She plucked it up from the nightstand and stared at it for a moment, half to confirm it was Dimitri, and half in the hopes that it wasn’t. A look to Byleth was all she needed to say. 

Her partner nodded and got up, giving her a quick squeeze to her hand a kiss to her forehead before leaving the room. Edelgard watched her go, and resisted the powerful urge to call her back, hold tightly onto her and forget everything else. 

That fantasy died as the door slid shut, and she turned her attention back to the phone. It wouldn’t do to wait too long, Dimitri would worry. She tapped to answer and held the phone to her ear. 

“Hello?” Came a gruff, deeply familiar voice from the other end.

“Hey Dima.” She replied, trying to keep the nervousness from her voice. 

“How are things?” He asked. 

“Well, it’s that time of the year, but otherwise quite well.” 

“Everything good with Byleth?” 

“Yes.” She said. “Very, she’s been helping a lot.” 

“That’s good. I’m glad.” He made a noise sounding like a sigh of relief. “Everything all right with work too?” 

“More or less, I had one too many demanding clients before I took my winter leave, but I managed.” 

“That’s good.” 

“How are things with you?” Edelgard asked. 

There was a pause. One typical of these calls. It was easy to forget that they had just started talking again, given that it was at Byleth’s encouragement to do so.

“Well, a bit of a clusterfuck at the moment, but that’ll pass. I actually have some news…” 

“Oh? Good or bad?” 

“Good,” He said, and she could hear a smile in his voice, “Very good, in fact.” 

“Well don’t keep me in suspense.” 

“Yes, sorry. Didn’t think through how I’d actually put this. And it’s a little soon so I can’t exactly-” 

“Dima!” 

“Fine! Sorry.” He took a breath before he spoke next. “I’m seeing someone.” 

“Really? Who? Tell me everything!” She practically shouted into the phone. 

It drew a laugh out of Dimitri. A genuine one, no small feat, even if it made him sound exhausted. “His name is Felix. Like I said, it’s early days but… I have a good feeling.” 

They continued for some time. Edelgard prodded him and got him to gush about his apparently prickly-but-secretly-quite-sweet boyfriend a few times before he caught himself. It hurt a little to hear the hushed tones with which he did so, god forbid certain other members of the family overhear. 

They talked about work too, and in retaliation Dimitri teased her about Byleth. It didn’t take much, just passing mention of weddings or his potential avuncularity. It was nice, if a little stilted still, an unavoidable consequence of years of silence between them. Or at least, until a different voice rang out from somewhere behind Dimitri. 

“Dimitri! Who is that?” The voice was cold, bitterly so. 

“Just a business call!” Dimitri shouted back, then said into the receiver, “Sorry, talk to you soon.” 

Edelgard only heard some of the response, an angry demand of “Who the fuck does business today?” before Dimitri hung up. 

The voice didn’t go away though. It stayed stuck, like a splinter dug too deep to rip out, no matter how much you tore away the flesh around it. Every scrap of heat fled the room at the sound, or even just the thought of that voice. It was as if the walls had been torn off and ice crawling into every crevice, every pore of her skin. It was an invasive chill, clawing at everything it touched. 

A knock sounded at the door, making Edelgard jump much more than she’d care to admit. 

“Come in!” She called out, attempting to keep her voice even. She failed. 

The door cracked open and Byleth peered inside. “Everything alright?” 

Edelgard tried to say something reassuring, something that would set worry aside and let the call slide away into a memory that wouldn’t become a revenant in her sleep. She opened her mouth and words refused to come, staying choked in her throat, with the childhood fear, unabating. She looked at Byleth, and tried to speak with her eyes that all was well, but the traitorous things gave her away. 

Byleth walked in and sat down on the bed, taking one of Edelgard’s hands in hers. 

“How’s Dimitri?” She asked. 

“He’s-” Edelgard’s voice, when it finally returned, came out rasped. “He’s fine. Better than fine, actually. Aside from this particular week, of course.”

“Did something happen?” 

“No.” Edelgard said, and immediately winced at herself. It wasn’t a _lie,_ truly nothing that should evoke a response like this had happened. She’d heard the bastard's voice and it sent her into a spiral, that should be nothing. It wasn’t though, and she hated lying to her partner. 

“I’m sorry, not _no,_ I-” She started again, gaze fixed to the floor, holding Byleth’s hand vice-like. “I heard _him,_ in the background. He yelled at Dimitri and…”

She trailed off. What was there to say? For a moment she felt 14 and powerless again, and even in her safest sanctum she felt terrified. On top of all that a part of her was furious, past rage and present frustration alloyed in the forge of a churning gut.

Byleth didn’t need her words, though. She didn’t need an account of suffering to convince her. She didn’t need it all spelled out for her to know what to do. Gently, she coaxed Edelgard’s head onto her shoulder. They sat there, on the edge of their bed, for some time. Edelgard tried to even out her breath, the beat of her heart, following the rise and fall of Byleth’s chest. 

Then, through the still open door, a welcome distraction arrived in the form of Sothis, chirping with the insistence of a cat who has definitely never been fed in her entire life, and is currently considering turning to a life of crime to support herself. 

“Yes, I’m so sorry. A thousand curses on me, I know.” Byleth said, at the cat, as she ushered her out of the room. 

Sothis hopped out quick as soon as she realised she was getting her way, and Byleth turned back to Edelgard, holding out a hand. Edelgard gave a weak smile, and took it, letting her partner guide her out. 

Byleth gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, and launched into discussing their dinner plan, suggesting things to watch later. Any domestic nothings to keep her mind occupied. It worked in parts. Patches here and there, bridged chasms between the calm and the panic. Moments of peace torn and sewn up, always on the mend. 

_25th of December, 10th of Tevet_

Edelgard awoke to the pounding of footsteps in the hall outside of her bedroom, followed by frantic knocks at her door. As soon as her consciousness caught up with her, she reached into the drawer and withdrew an old pocket knife. Her first and last line of defense, no matter how useless. 

She approached the door like a bomb about to go off, only settled when she heard a voice on the other side.

“El! It’s Dima! Wake up!” 

Immediately she snapped the knife shut and threw open the door, revealing the disheveled form of her brother. His eyes were wide and bloodshot, and his usually kempt hair all askew. 

“El, he knows! I overheard him and mom talking. He knows about you for sure, and I don’t know but I think he knows about me!”

The knife fell from Edelgards hand, clattering on the floor. 

“How?” she asked, her voice trembling. 

“I don’t know,” Dimitri replied, his eyes were tearing up. “Someone at school I think, someone told.” 

“Edelgard! Dimitri!” A voice shouted from the end of the hall. A cold voice that froze the air of the corridor, froze the air in her lungs. “What are you doing out of bed!” 

“Nothing! Sir!” Dimitri called back, snapping to standing straight, his head bowed. 

“Then kindly return to your room, and you!” Arundel stepped into view, one long bony finger pointed at Edelgard, “Go back to bed, you will be having a discussion with your mother come morning.” 

The images from there grew hazy, covered in the fog of anger in fear. She saw her mothers exhausted eyes, yielding to every one of Arundel’s words. She saw the vile grin on his face as she was dragged away, kicking and screaming. 

Her “counselors” towered above her, obelisks of false serenity, blocking out the sun. Then there was the telltale chemical bitterness of the drugs, so charitably named “Cures.” The burning of poison running through her veins, and the bile as her body rejected it. 

Then a voice, strange against the flashes of pain long since passed. 

“El, El, El…” 

It was so far off, so muffled, yet to hear ears it was balm, the warmth of the sun just peeking through an overcast sky. 

“El… Wake up!” 

***

When Edelgard truly awoke, she felt as if she’d burst up from under ice covered water. She was drenched in cold sweat, and panting in rapid, painful breaths. A hand took hers and she held it like a lifeline, probably hurting whoever was attached to it. 

As seconds passed, she became aware of the voice from before whispering to her, in near rhythm. 

“You’re alright. You’re safe, in your apartment, he’s not here. You’re safe.” 

She turned to the source and saw two deep blue eyes, so full of worry, staring right back at her. She knew those eyes. She knew them well. 

“Byleth?” She asked, her voice coarse, barely making it through her panicked gasping.

“I’m here, I’m here El.” She said. 

She brought a hand up slow, making sure not to startle her, and set it on her cheek, brushing her thumb across it. Edelgard set a hand over hers and leaned into the touch. She closed her eyes, and focused on it. Her breath started to even, and the world around her felt a little less frozen in terror. She opened her eyes again, and again gazed right into Byleth’s. 

Without thinking, she threw herself at her partner, almost knocking her over as she wrapped her arms around her neck. Byleth gave a yelp in surprise at first, but then returned the gesture in earnest. 

“I’ve got you, I’m here.” She whispered to her. “You’re safe, El.” 

They stayed in that position for some time, rocking ever so slightly, with Byleth repeating some soothing mantra to her. Occasionally a wracked sob escaped her, and Byleth held her just a bit tighter each time. 

Eventually, Edelgard removed herself from her partner's embrace and tried to get her bearings. She reached over and grabbed her phone from the nightstand, groaning at the horrible _5:22_ that appeared on the screen. 

“Dammit,” She muttered to herself. She placed the phone back in it’s spot and turned to Byleth. “I’m sorry, you can go back to sleep, I’ll be fine.” 

She shook her head, “So you can pace around the kitchen until sunrise without me? Nah.” 

“Byleth!” She chided, “You need your rest, don’t keep yourself up on my account.”

She shook her head again, with a smirk on her face. “Nope. If you’re up, I’m up.” 

Edelgard sighed, half exasperated at her girlfriend's stubbornness, half relieved to not spend the morning alone with her thoughts. Byleth ignored this, and sprang up from the bed. She offered a hand to Edelgard, who accepted with a roll of her eyes. 

Byleth led them out of their room and into their kitchen. She set her phone on the counter, tapped away at it for a moment and turned back to her. A few chords flew out at a lazy pace. The same song she had played for Edelgard the day before. She had to admit that she preferred the thoroughly unpolished way Byleth had played it, but this would do.

She minded even less when Byleth took her hands and pulled her in, swaying, without much coordination, to the music. Her hands held her waist, and Edelgard draped her arms around her neck, resting her head against her shoulder. She could feel Byleth humming along almost more than she could hear it. 

They stepped on each other's feet more than once, followed by a giggle and a redoubled attempt toward grace, one more often than not met by another stumble. Soon enough they were openly laughing, partly out of exhaustion, partly out of the sheer ridiculousness of being that close to someone. 

Then the song changed, rolled over to a slightly more upbeat folk track. Byleth looked down at her, beaming, as she drew her into faster steps. They fumbled those even more, but they gave Byleth an excuse to spin Edelgard, and as the song closed, leaned her into a dip low almost to the point of worry. 

Edelgard then couldn’t help but kiss her. How could she not? This crazy wonderful person who got up and danced with her before the sun even came up, just to make her happy? How could she not spend every second wanting to make her feel just as loved, just as safe.

They righted themselves, and stood, embraced, in the quiet. Still, calm, and warm. Part of Edelgard was tempted to believe this yet another dream. If it weren’t for her sleeping subconscious’s tendency for the macabre, she might have. 

“El?” Byleth’s voice was barely a whisper, as if to avoid waking the slumbering world around them. 

“Yes?” 

“How are you feeling?” 

Edelgard thought for a moment, nuzzling into her partner’s shoulder as she did. “Better. Not my best, but better.” 

“Okay,” Byleth gave her a squeeze, “We can work with that.” 

Edelgard then stepped back for a moment, looking fully at the person she lived with. Her partner, girlfriend, person she wanted to spend the rest of her days with. It terrified her how readily her mind supplied such titles, after what truly was not much time. It also thrilled her, set her heart beating faster at every thought of it. 

“Can I kiss you?” She blurted out, surprising herself. 

Byleth nodded, “Of course you can, silly.” 

Edelgard blushed, but still leaned up to kiss her. Her lips were still chapped, and a little coppery from her bad habit of biting them, but there was still nothing she’d rather do than kiss her. Over and over again, as much as she’d let her, for as long as she’d let her. 

When they finally pulled away, she rested her forehead on Byleth’s chest while she caught her breath. Then she looked back up, and the words left her mouth before she could make them any prettier than the raw emotion they were inspired by. 

“I love you so much, my light.”

She blushed, in spite of herself. In spite of the many times she’d said those words. She blushed too, when Byleth spoke them back. She could hear her say it every day for years, and she probably would still go crimson at them. 

“I love you too, my heart.”


End file.
